Heavy & Horny

by Necktie Killer

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Lyrics for this album are here. necktiekiller.com/heavy-and-horny/


released June 17, 2013



all rights reserved


Necktie Killer Bend, Oregon

Necktie Killer is an independent, grass roots, 7 piece rock band out of Bend, Oregon. The best cliche to describe this band is 'rugged, yet refined.' The often crass yet somehow eloquent lyrical content combines with exquisite musical arrangement, catchy melodies, and myriad stylistic influences to create a unique musical experience. ... more

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Track Name: B'Low Me
I see you sittin' there
You turn your head every time I look your way
I think you know I do the same
You're so damn smitten, had no shot
I've got a vice lock on your brain
And if it weren't so far beneath me, you'd drive me completely fuckin' insane


I feel like I'm a step above you
But I love you
If only I could tolerate you
Eventually I know I'd hate you
It's true, so why do
I think I like to play this game?
It's always the same

It's not that I'm in love
When you're out of sight you are truly out of mind
But you're never hard to find
And when I see you - every time - can't help but check out your behind
And when you make it wiggle you make me wish I would fuckin' go blind


Why do
It take two
Seconds to forget that I don't like you?
'Cause you got nothing cool to say
Be with you everyday?
That equals hell to pay for me and maybe
That's where I oughta' be
Because in hell, you see
You don't have to worry
About what's right or what's wrong
That's why it's where I belong
Cause if I had some moral fiber, I'd already be gone
You know

I feel like I'm a step above you
But I loved you
If only I could tolerate you
Eventually I know I'd hate you
Why do I like to play this game?
Track Name: F the P
Oh, when I wrote this song, god damn, it was 2008
You'd think we'd all be livin' fat today
that we would have come to a golden age
But no, we ain't

Kids livin' in luxuries unprecedented before in the world
Unsatisfied as they've ever been
If great men could have foreseen how it would unfurl
Would they have bothered at all?
Would they have answered the call?
Well, they might not have bothered at all when it had taken the balls to say


"Fuck the power!"
So many men have paid the ultimate price just to say those words
"Fuck the power!" just to be heard
Fuck the cowards
It doesn't matter if they need it or not, they're gonna have their way
But there's always that day
When everybody says "fuck the power!"

Before I can support the fam, I pay homage to Uncle Sam
Who finances occupations of sand
And sends thousands to die in a foreign land
Just for his old man

Economic complexities are designed to keep you confused
Disguise two guys who've been compromised
Call it freedom, but you need 'em to choose just between those two
Well it's a hell of a ruse, but what are you gonna do?
Well, you choose when they tell you to choose because you don't wanna' lose
The game they coerce you to play


The ability to follow and lead allows us to be civilized
But it can't be denied that the other side
Of that double edged sword takes lives
We're talking our demise
Now try that on for size

It's happened hundreds of times
When the king's got his eyes on the prize and he forgets to be wise
He's in for one big surprise
'Cause the cries turn to thousands of guys; revolution on the rise!

Let's start one more revolution!
Come jump on board, revolution!
Let's nix this shit institution!
Ska revolution!

Let's start one more revolution!
Come jump on board, revolution!
There's too much hate and pollution!
Ska revolution!
Track Name: Whores
I know this girl
And she is outta' sight
Yeah she is outta this world
And she's not too cool
But it doesn't really matter
Cuz she's got strong lips
And she's always down to give me some squirrel

Every now and then
I get to thinkin' with my boner and I call her again
She answers every time
And it doesn't really matter
That I don't really like her
'Cause she never tries to make me pretend

But every time I leave without saying goodbye
I see a tear fall from the corner of her eye


Because whores
Have feelings too
Yes they do
Whores have
Feelings too

A friend of mine
He got a degree and a job
The dude was doin' just fine
He had a wife and a kid
And it didn't really matter
That he took care of them and gave 'em every spare second of time

She still fucked around
You know my friend's not dumb
Eventually he found out
He kicked that bitch to the curb
And it didn't really matter
That she said she was sorry
'Cause the truth ain't what she puts in her mouth

Now I see her in the bar every week with a different guy,
But she can't hide the regret, I see it right there in her eye

Chorus x2

Now he who's without sin can cast the first stone
Some chicks just love dick and hate bein' alone
You got a problem with it?
You've got problems of your own
When it's her, you play the critic
When it's you, you don't

You won't admit it, hypocrite
It's so peculiar, though
That when it comes to other shit, you say "To each his own."
I'm gonna teach you kids somethin' that your teachers don't
It's not unlike some shit you could hear in a preacher's home

It's that he who's without sin can cast the first stone
Some chicks just love dick and hate bein' alone
You got a problem with it?
Shit, I've got problems of my own
When it's her, you play the critic
When it's you, you don't

So why is it when she's sittin' in her boojey home
That she bought just out of spite with all the alimony
That she can't can't help but be unhappy and displeased
Just thinkin' about the time that she's spent down on her knees, B!

'Cause natural consequences are a bitch on their own
So just leave it at that, she's more sorry than she ever could let on

Track Name: Weed

Weed, weed, weed, you're a bittersweet mistress
Why'd you have to turn me into such a lazy bitch?
This shit's the shit. Oh, I fuckin' quit
Weed, weed, weed, you know you make me forget
About all of my troubles and my grocery list
This shit's the shit. Oh, I fuckin' quit

I used to hustle weed by the slew. It's true, I never grew
But I made sure I always had a baggie bigger than you
But it was a pain in the ass; it wasn't paying too fast
Now keep the same size bag, but I ain't slangin' my stash,
I fuckin' smoke it. But can't nobody smoke in my pad
Got a three year old at home. Yeah, that's right, bitch, I'm a dad
And you might think it's irresponsible for me to get high
But he don't see that side of me; he gonna' be better than I was

If I had a nickel for every dime bag I've scooped up,
I'm pretty sure that by now I'd have at least a million bucks
And if I did my friend, I tell you what I'd do right now
I'd spend nine hundred, ninety nine thou on fuckin' weed and take out.

I'll never get high, that's what I used to say
Now I'm goin' broke 'cause I smoke like everyday
It's getting harder to tell if it's the cause or it's the cure
So maybe next week I'm fuckin' quittin' for sure


For every time that I've used weed to pick me up
There's two or three occasions when my habit's kicked me in the nuts
If I had never toked, I'd probably have a college degree
Now if that's not a tragedy, then you tell me what is, bitch

I'm wishin' that I had stuck to the plan
Instead of sittin' here with a blunt and beer in hand
It's getting easy to see that it's the cause and not the cure
So maybe next week, I'm fuckin' quittin' for sure

And when I say it, yo, I gotta quit
I'm smokin' what I've got and I got … I've got a lot of it
The problem is that every time I finish up a bag
My buddy comes by, see, and offers me a little shwag
So what the fuck's a smoker supposed to say to that, "No?"
I don't think so, "thank you, please pass the Indo!"
Friends don't let friends drink and drive,
But ain't nobody causin' crashes 'cause they got so crazy high
So let's ride

But we ain't got no place to go
Because the more and more you smoke, you know you start to get slow
And the more and more you smoke, you know you start to go broke
Before you know it you're a chinky-eyed, broke-ass slow poke
And I would know

Shit man, I smoke a gang of weed
It's hard to breathe now, feels like somebody strangled me
Sometimes I get the feelin' it's time to make a little change
Before I really fuck up, and my whole family is ashamed of me

But every time I quit, feels like I'll always be the same
Believe me, bitches, I try; It's just this weed is so insanely green
So if you wanna fuck with the bittersweet mistress
Just remember what I said, cuz after that you won't remember shit

Track Name: A$$hole
As nice as I was, as understanding as I could be
As much as I let you walk all over me
It wasn't enough
You still had to play rough
So, now you'll see what an asshole I can be

I never wanted it to be like this
I tried to be cool, and I tried to be reasonable
But you were bent on bein' such a bitch
You wanna play that game? It's a shame:
To make life miserable for you's what I got to do
I'm makin' your life miserable for you
And you got no one to blame but yourself
And all the fucked up shit you pulled, well, it's true


When you first said to me that this was it, it hurt so fuckin bad
It's the worst feelin' I ever had
Couldn't believe that you would pull this shit
But now I'm glad you're gone; been so long that I'd been puttin' up with you
What I've got to do is make life fuckin' miserable for you.
What you deserve's even worse than you'll get
'Cause you're a stupid fuckin' bitch, so get screwed

Oh, I may not be able to sink as low as you
I don't know how you can
I don't know what you're goin' through
But there's no excuse
So now I'm showin' you
What spoiled bitches get when they can't act like grownups

I think I'll start by sayin' your dad's a douche bag
He never really loved you, and I know you fuckin' knew that
And maybe that's how you became a person so lame
That you can't respect yourself
Even your family feels the same

You're gettin' anything you can for your booty
That's probably why you fucked m when you hardly even knew me
And we both know I wasn't the first
By the time you got to me, you had that shit rehearsed

I get so bored airing your dirty laundry
That it blows my mind
I mean, it really is beyond me
That you'd rather keep on than move on
When does the nightmare end?
It's already been way too long

It isn't that I want to be a prick
You just pushed so damn hard, took your craziness way too far
And I just let you get away with it
It must have pissed you off when you saw I'm a better person and so

You just sunk so low
By actin' like a wicked crazy hoe
Now maybe when I become the asshole
You'll get the hint and fuckin' leave me alone


The things you did were so complex and nuts,
I can't put em in a song; I would have to make it way too long
That's what you get for havin' sex with sluts
You're scared of a disease, but VD is not the worst those hoes can do

Oh my friend, it's true
They'll make life fuckin' miserable for you
And you've got no one to blame but yourself
You fucked her even when you knew she's bad news


Oi! Oi!

Yo soy rude boy!
Track Name: LaHF
There's an army, it's assembling now
Three blocks from downtown
Round now's when they come around
And right now I'm hangin' out with Larry

Pull out a tarnished flask and pass it around
Pound it down, it lasts. Magic Flask has enough for everyone
Cops are on the way but we aren't really caring


With all these d-bags drinkin' Pabst, Larry hands my ass a flask
And he'll say "cheers" or "bottoms up"
We let the hours pass hangin' with Larry and his flask
And we don't need no stinkin cups

Party's crowded and there's more on the way
Well that's ok, 'cause we ain't really got a fuckin' fire code
And tonight we burn it down on Black Butte

Workin' tomorrow, but I'm drinkin' today
Well this ain't the first time Larry's got me doin' stupid shit
You don't like it? Well, nobody fuckin' asked you


This little shindig was a BYOB
But not for me, I drink for free whenever I'm with Larry
Yeah, that flask of his has got me feelin' sloppy

Right now I'm actin like an H-O-L-E
Well that's me: the SOB that doesn't worry what you think
Got your sister screamin' "get this bastard off me!"

Track Name: Friends
All the girlies smile when you come around
The dudes say they're down with you to try to fit in
Everybody thinks you're funny when you're clownin'
And they always hang around; you think you've got lotsa' friends

You can be counted on to do right by your crew
Inevitably, you'll get screwed
Some cats will flip on you

So many situations
Where some chick or some dude that you thought was really close to you
Thought they might get a leg up
If they stabbed you in the back
I guess you probably should have expected that

You gotta' figure out who your friends are
You need to figure out who your friends are
You better figure out who your friends are

You've got a buddy
(Hey, buddy)
You've known him for a year or two
It's easy to forget the chips have never been down
(Every day has been a good day)
The two of you go to the bar to get a beer or two
You get into some trouble; he's nowhere to be found
(Nope. Where is he?)
You hope he'll show up soon, 'cause things are lookin' grim
(He was here a little bit ago)
You realize just as you get hit that you can't count on him
(That motherfucker)

I guess seeing is believing
When a so-called good friend that you though would be there 'til the end
Thinks they might have it easier
If they turn their back on you
I guess it's probably smart to expect them to

You gotta' figure out who your friends are
You need to figure out who your friends are
You better figure out who your friends are

You need figure out who your friends are
You better figure out who your friends are
So fuckin' figure out who your friends are

Now when you're sittin' on top everybody seems down
That's why I don't mess around
Because most people, I have found don't really like you
They might act like they're by your side
You won't believe how quick those bitches do some stupid shit to spite you

That's right, dude, and I don't care where you're from
'Cause everybody needs somebody not to stick 'em in the bum
But everybody's been a sucker
Then you just feel dumb
'Cause you stuck your neck out
And you trusted someone

It's kinda fun - I think - to see if you can read 'em
Find the dude who's gonna' flip
Preempt them and defeat 'em
But for freedom we all must trust a little bit
So take an old friendship
Make an effort to rekindle it

But choose your buddies wisely
Don't be a retard
A real homie acts like a get out of jail free card
He runs the extra mile, then he don't even breathe hard
Some people got dough
They ain't the lucky ones, we are

Different from your friend in the bar
You know how, 'mon?
That dude's up in your grill
Then it's that dude I'm gonna pound on
Might do some ill shit mother fuckers might frown on
But all my buddies know that I'm somebody they can count on

You better figure out who your friends are
Should probably figure out who your friends are
You have to figure out who your friends are
Track Name: Garbage Bag
It gets extremely boring
Lying awake at night just waiting for the morning
And when it finally comes
You can see it's nothing to look forward to
Well it's true

You're going through the motions
As your convictions slowly wither into notions
One day becomes ten
And you can't climb out of the rut you're in
You can't win


You've got your
Garbage bag full of clothes
And you hope that nobody knows
Just where you're goin' with 'em
Say I'll talk to ya' later, and you don't look back

You tell the guys that you're goin' home
But you don't wanna'
You just wanted to be left alone
Now is that so much to ask?

You may not be the first one
On your list of enemies, but man, you are the worst one
You can't get out of your way
And when you do it's never where you stay
But okay

Got lots of friends, but damn
You can't think of one of them that truly understands you
But then you can't really tell
If you can even understand yourself
That might help, but instead …

Chorus x2
Track Name: Life O' the Party
Well I walk right through your front door and I'm makin' lots of noise
I'm all geared up for one more night of drinkin' with the boys
And if it weren't for all the cocaine, vicodin and 'roids
You'd probably be happy to see me


'Cause I buy drugs and steal drugs and use 'em all up
And there's always some whiskey down here in my cup
And I'll punch you and kiss you all in the same night
I'm the life of the fuckin' party

Well I've never really been one known for moderate rapport
So if you offer me a shot, then I'll have that and several more
When you learned of my arrival you should have known what was in store
Your blood upon my shirt and lots of dirt upon your floor

And I can't say I've ever said a single word I didn't shout!
If that wall there in your hall needs a new hole, I'll help you out
Another drink, another line, 'cause there's no time to fuck about
Hey miss, you like fish? Then try this trouser trout